How Do You Measure a Year?

I don't know what it is about this time of year, but this is obviously when I get motivated.  The reason I know this is because I was taking my before pics and filing them away in my super secret folder, and I saw pictures I took last year on March 28, 2011.  That was supposed to be the day I gave up my unhealthy habits in exchange for a slimmer, healthier me, and in fact, I did start walk/jogging and even completed a 5k in 42 minutes, which I thought was great for a beginner.  I also happened to snap a photo of the scale that day, and I weighed 13 pounds less then than I do now.  Talk about frustrating.  One of the biggest obstacles for me is letting go of the past.  Rather than measuring time in days, months, and years, I measure it in pounds.  I'm sick of doing that, and focusing on how much I've gained is the most demotivating thing I do to myself.  But as I type this, all I can think about is last year, when I was 13 pounds lighter, I thought that I never wanted to see that number again, and at this point, I'm desperate enough to start a fad diet in order to reach that point and beyond.  And, no, you're not seeing my before pictures until I've lost enough weight to see a substantial difference, so I can at least offset them with progress.

So, this is how this hcg thing works.  I will start taking the pellets tomorrow morning.  I have to drink at least 64 ounces of water, and for the first 2 days, I gorge.  What was that?  That's right- I said gorge.  Apparently you fat load for the first 2 days on this thing, which I'm pretty sure is what the appeal is for all of us fatties.  Whoever heard of starting a diet by eating your ass off?  My husband laughed at me when I told him, so I'm not even going to discuss the ridiculousness of the rest of this diet with him.  You're also not supposed to exercise during the low cal days, which is another bonus for all of us lazy bitches, who did not get in this shape by putting in time at the gym.  The one sticking point for me, aside from the crazy calorie restriction, is the fact that you're not supposed to have soda, even diet.  Diet Dr. Pepper is my life blood, and when I tried to give it up at the new year, I almost died and took my whole family with me.  I was exhausted and moody enough that my husband started leaving bottles around the house for me.  I caved after 2 weeks, and now I'm back up to my 2 liter a day habit.  I was going to ween myself off, but instead I'm slurping down as much of it as I can while I can, so tomorrow is not going to be a good day for me or anyone in my immediate circle.  I do get to eat what I want for 2 days, though, so hopefully that will ease my transition.  Now I'm off to load, which, let's be honest, I've been doing at least since Thanksgiving.