Countdown

In 2 days I will be officially starting the HCG diet.  I ordered the pellets, and they are supposed to be here tomorrow.  I went through an online Dr. prescribed thing, so I could make sure I was getting the prescription real stuff as opposed to the fake stuff.  I also know someone who went through the same company and lost 38 pounds on the first round.  That was enough to convince me.  Supposedly the purpose of the hcg is to keep you from being hungry and to prevent muscle loss, since you're basically doing a crash diet.  Every ounce of reason tells me this is ridiculous, not to mention I've taken nutrition classes and done enough of my own research to know what's healthy and what's not, but then there's the irrational fat girl who is desperate to get back to the normal girl I once was.  At this point, irrationality is triumphing over reason, so I'm starting this thing in the hopes that the next 40 days will jump start my weight loss as well as my motivation to keep going.

Some history: I was always active and fit until college.  Then, I got depressed and started piling on weight.  I started at 120 and finished my collegiate career at around 150.  I got married the following month and put on another 15 pounds BEFORE I got pregnant with my son. I kept 10 pounds from him and got pregnant again, keeping another 10 pounds.  The third time around, I kept another 10 pounds.  While childbirth was not great for my figure, I noticed emotions were obviously a much bigger trigger for weight gain when I got a job working for a hell beast and was miserable for 3 years, gaining another 20 pounds.  I finally quit and went back to school, gaining my college weight all over again.  So, while I won't say exactly where I am, you can do the math.  I need to lose a lot of weight to be healthy and to be able to keep up with my very active children who won't be slowing down any time soon.