Spoke Too Soon

You know how you don't hear from a heroin addict for a week, and it turns out he's holed up in some crack house, OD'ing and seeing dead babies on the ceiling?  Well that's where I was for the past week- drunk on Diet Dr. Pepper and high on carbs.  So I guess I lied last week when I said I was getting back on it then.  I'm really doing it....starting now.

I did wog today, but I didn't do the couch to 5K workout.  That program is terrific for people who are in better shape than I am, but it progressed too quickly for me.  Instead, today, I walked to the front of the neighborhood, which was mostly uphill, so when I got to the end, I turned around and jogged downhill as far as I could.  I continued in a similar pattern, jogging whenever I could downhill.  I realized that the fact that I knew I wouldn't be able to complete the entire workout for the 3rd week of C25K was enough to deter me from even trying it. It's counterintuitive, I realize, since you can never do something if you don't try, so I just adjusted my routine to accommodate my current fitness level.  I also started using the RunKeeper  app because I have app ADD. I'm like a boy with video games.  I need constant change to stay motivated and stimulated.

I don't even know what my whore scale has to say about my indiscretions.  I'll deal with her on Friday.

I'm Done With Meat!

It's not a euphemism for being a lesbian; I am so sick of actual meat.  I've ventured into vegetarian territory before, because whenever I eat a lot of meat, it starts to make me physically ill.  It happens a lot on low carb, high protein diets, such as the one I'm on now.  So, for lunch, instead of the 3 oz of protein and cup of veggies I'm supposed to have, I had 2 boiled eggs with a splash of vinegar, a dollop of mayonnaise, and a pickle spear mixed in.  And, yes, those are official measurements I used.  I had an orange on the side, so my entire meal was still around 250 to 300 cals, high in protein, and no processed foods, so I'm sticking to the basic hcg plan.  I'm sure the insane diehards I've seen online would beg to differ, but the whole idea behind this thing is to do something I can stick with throughout life, not gag down food I once loved and have grown to hate due to eating it repetitively and ultimately end up gorging myself into oblivion on Easter candy and potato chips, which leads me to last night's indiscretion.

I haven't cheated on this thing ( I mean for real cheated, not like "oops I had a diet soda" cheated) since I started, and I was so proud of myself on Friday night.  My 6yo broke her wrist around 4:00, so instead of eating dinner, she and I were sitting in the orthopedic doctor's waiting room  waiting to be seen. We didn't finish until 8:00 pm, and she left with a pink cast and an empty belly.  Naturally we went to McDonald's, to reward her bravery throughout the process.  I know- bad mommy, rewarding with food, but come on.  The kid was in pain and was such a trooper.  Anywho, I hate McD's.  I think it's disgusting, and I've always said their meat doesn't taste right- WAY before the pink slime thing was exposed, I might add, but every kids loves it, including me when I was one, so McDonald's it was.  Despite my hatred for it, and most fast food for that matter, I had already made up my mind that I was going to chow down on a cheeseburger and fries, because that was my reward for...I don't know...being a trooper, too?  But, once I got up to the drive-thru, I talked myself out of it, because I've come a long way over the past week, and I am determined to change this time.  My reward for my self restraint was losing a pound.

Cut to last night when I was putting the kids' Easter baskets together, filling them with mini-Reese's, Snickers, Twix, etc.  It was like my sense of smell was heightened, and that wonderful, familiar mixture of chocolate and peanut butter was wafting toward me, becoming overwhelming and irresistible.  I devoured 1, then 2, then I lost count.  And then I got sick.  I'm not used to eating carbs, much less highly processed, sugary ones, so I really got ill.  It was then that I made the decision to have a full-on cheat meal.  I knew that it was either that, or I would come off the plan altogether, so I picked the lesser of 2 evils and had a cheeseburger, potato chips with dip, and some ice cream for dinner.  I resolved that I will be allowed 1 cheat meal per week, in order to keep my motivation and determination from waning.  And. It. Worked.  I did gain a pound back, but my resolve is stronger than ever, and the only changes I'm making are substituting vegetarian protein sources, and I really want to start running.  In order to do that, I have to up my calorie intake, so I may still wait a few more weeks, because I don't want to acknowledge to myself that the hcg was a huge waste of money.  At least, not yet.  So I'm sticking to the calorie restrictions, for now.