Not the movie, although I do feel like a zombie today. I'm talking about my progress after being on the "medically supervised" plan for the past 4 weeks. The good news: I've lost about 10 or 11 pounds. The bad news: this place was a total rip off. Anything I've done is due to my own determination and perseverance. In fact, I stopped going to them a week ago, not even finishing the 4 week plan I paid for. Following is a breakdown of what was promised and what I actually received:
The deal was for a 4-week medically supervised weight loss plan for 89$. I was supposed to have bloodwork, and EKG, supplements, weekly B-12 shots and appointments with a physician every week to monitor my progress. What I got was some old lady named "Skeet" (I am not making this shit up. For shits and giggles, this is the Urban Dictionary definition of the word) who decided that based on my answers to the medical profile, I did not need the blood work or EKG to be done. I surmised over our visits together that the real reason we skipped the formalities was that she was not a qualified medical professional and was squeamish, in fact, when it came to medical procedures. This would later explain why I never received a B-12 shot. Instead, I was given a weekly B-12 pill, which was delicious incidentally, and I found the identical supplement here. I ordered them and have been taking them daily, as suggested on the bottle. I'm pretty sure the reason for the shots is that they are more potent and last longer, but Skeet assured me that I should only take 1 of their B-12 pills a week, which I imagine was more out of concern for their overhead than my possible B-12 overdose. I received a weekly package of vitamins to take, which I compared to my daily multivitamin, and they were practically identical.
At each visit, which lasted about 5 minutes a piece, I was given my packet of vitamins, weighed, and highly encouraged to purchase their nutritional supplements, which were not included in the 89$ I shelled out. Keep in mind the 89$ was a Living Social deal. The actual monthly cost for this place is $199. So, like a moron, I paid extra for the protein drinks and puddings, which were actually pretty tasty. I also happened to later find very similar ones on their competitor's website for about half the price.
So to summarize, I paid 89$ (regular price 199$) for a weekly B-12 pill that should have been taken daily, 4 weeks of a daily multivitamin, and weigh-ins with a lady named after a vulgar term for the rhythm method. I never once saw a doctor, despite the fact that the term "Physician" is in the name of the organization, and according to their corporate website, a doctor is supposed to be staffed at each location. I also paid for Lady Pull Out to harass me at every visit to purchase their fish oil because mine was sub-par, and get more supplements, and sign up for their 4 month plan, which was only $325 as long as I did it by a certain date. I had to start telling that bitch that I'd left my debit card at home. She even had the audacity to call me on the last day of the 325$ "special" to try to get me to come in. I haven't been back since, and that's the last I heard from them.
In short, it's a big ol' scam. I thought I would be receiving counseling from a real physician as well as having accountability with the weigh-ins, but their aggressive sales techniques and false promises just furthered my realization that I'm responsible for my own decisions. I'm the only person I have to answer to, so I've continued to eat well and exercise, except for the past 2 days in which I've felt like donkey shit. I'm back on track today, though, eating healthy and intend to go swimming with the kids later. Oh, and I've been using this to track everything I've been doing. It's the easiest tracker I've come across, and it's totally free, so I highly recommend it.