Look Ma, No Duckface

This is what I spent my morning doing:

I colored my hair blonde, I styled it, I put on makeup, and then I took pictures like a self-obsessed teenager.  It took about 800 to even get this decent one due to my previously unnoticed lazy eye and crooked lips.  I guess I had a stroke that I didn't know about.  And, since this one is all fuzzy from the Instagram Hudson filter, you can't see my uneven skin tone, and my double chin is pretty well concealed.  All in all it's probably one of the best pics of me in years.  Notice there's no body shot.  Which brings me to this oldie but goody: