Color Me Rad

I did it.  And I didn't half ass it, either. I ran probably about half of it; not all at once, but total, so that counts for something. Plus, I knew the last color station was close to the finish, so I ran from that point on, which was probably a half mile.  It was definitely the furthest I've ever run at once.  That says a lot for adrenaline, because when I run on my own, I can barely run half that.

I started off jogging, but the course started uphill, so that was literally an uphill battle between me and my brain.  I ended up walking most of that part and was disheartened when I thought I was going to have to walk the entire race.  I told the hubs to go on without me, because I knew he wanted to run.  Well, then the course flattened out and started going downhill, so I decided to pick up the pace.  There were a bunch of people walking, so the only pressure I had was from myself, and as we know, she's a big ol' bitch, so she forced me to run every time the course was flat or downhill.  That's how I ended up running a good chunk of it.

I did have to stop completely once, which sucked.  Everything was going well.  I was wogging my way through, more jogging than walking at this point, and then I noticed the course was about to take a turn for the worse.  The entire thing went through areas of the college campus, so I really enjoyed that part, but as we rounded the corner, vivid flashbacks from my times as a student began flooding my brain. I knew I was about to half to conquer the hill on Bull Street which is a 90 degree   hill that you half to walk up in the snow (See picture below). It makes the cardiac hill in my neighborhood look like a walk in the park.  I got halfway up this monstrosity and noticed that everyone...EVERYONE (even the fittest of the fit) was walking oh so slowly up it.  Fatties like me had to take a mini break before we could continue, but I was happy to be in good company and not the only one who had to stop. It was less than a minute before I was on my way again, and in my defense, the last color station was right after we reached the top, so I pretty much ran from that point until the finish.

I have no idea what my time was, because the amazing organizers of the event want it to be fun, so they don't time it.  They also donate a portion to a local charity and chose Happy Wheels, which I thought was an awesome choice.  They're talking about doing an annual event, so if they do, I'm taking the kids next year.  I think they would have a blast.

The hill I had to climb.  Fine, not really, but you get the idea.

 Here's what we looked like at the end:

If you look really close, you can see a turquoise ring around Wesley's eye.  Apparently you need lab safety goggles to do this thing.

 

My sister came up this weekend, too, since I'm going to be an old lady in a few days, and I think she wanted to rub it in.  She did bring some awesome gifts, though, and watched the rugrats so Wesley and I could do the race. 

Awesome gifts.  Yes, that is a Bill Murray coloring book.

She also took me to lunch, and since it was one of my b-day weekends (you get 2 when it falls in the middle of the week), I gorged myself silly.  I have been so good lately, so my body isn't used to that shit anymore.  I spent a majority of the weekend gassy, bloated, nauseous, and in pain.  It was not pleasant, and I realized I really do not miss junk food at all.  I did test my little theory this morning with leftover pizza and am now paying the price AGAIN.  So, I'm done.  I'm not advocating any kind of restrictive diet, because I think it's too hard to stick to something like that, and you end up binging yourself silly, but I have learned that my body definitely works better on a lower carb, less processed food diet.  I think it's true for everyone, although I think I'm more affected by carbs than most people.  Even whole grain pasta, rice, and bread make me feel tired and sluggish, so they're off the menu for now.  I do tolerate potatoes, though (thank Jebus!), so they're staying in.

Because I have too much time on my hands, I created this tribute video to foods that I once loved but now am cutting completely from my diet.  I ate most of them this weekend, and they were not nice to me.  So good riddance old pals.

Spoke Too Soon

You know how you don't hear from a heroin addict for a week, and it turns out he's holed up in some crack house, OD'ing and seeing dead babies on the ceiling?  Well that's where I was for the past week- drunk on Diet Dr. Pepper and high on carbs.  So I guess I lied last week when I said I was getting back on it then.  I'm really doing it....starting now.

I did wog today, but I didn't do the couch to 5K workout.  That program is terrific for people who are in better shape than I am, but it progressed too quickly for me.  Instead, today, I walked to the front of the neighborhood, which was mostly uphill, so when I got to the end, I turned around and jogged downhill as far as I could.  I continued in a similar pattern, jogging whenever I could downhill.  I realized that the fact that I knew I wouldn't be able to complete the entire workout for the 3rd week of C25K was enough to deter me from even trying it. It's counterintuitive, I realize, since you can never do something if you don't try, so I just adjusted my routine to accommodate my current fitness level.  I also started using the RunKeeper  app because I have app ADD. I'm like a boy with video games.  I need constant change to stay motivated and stimulated.

I don't even know what my whore scale has to say about my indiscretions.  I'll deal with her on Friday.

Weekly Pinadequacy

On my other blog, I've already shown some of my ideas that I've stolen from Pinterest, and since I love it so much, I figured I'll start doing weekly posts with things I've tried and the disastrous results that ensue.  This is mostly for my sister's benefit, since she's basically the only one that reads this.

The reason I'm calling it a "Pinadequacy" is because I suck at all things creative, yet I still insist on trying.  I have done one thing that I'm pretty proud of, and it wasn't even Pinterest-inspired. When we were redoing my 3-year-old's room, I was trying to decide on artwork for her walls.  I came across a picture of a toddler's room in which the parents had hired a professional photographer to take pictures of the little girl's favorite toys, and they were hung in black frames around the room.  Well, I thought it was ridiculous to pay a pro to take pictures of some ratty old stuffed animals, but I loved the idea of the artwork being so personal, so I threw a white sheet over some chairs, borrowed my middle child's flexible lamp for lighting, and got in touch with my inner Annie Leibovitz.  I also repainted her dresser, which was mint green with pastel knobs, to a bright white with what can only be described as Reese's Pieces-colored knobs.

Everything else I've done is usually sub-par.  My edible creations are famous for being tasty, yet butt ugly.  I do love to cook, though, so a lot of my attempts at creativity tend to be food- related.  This week is no exception.

On Fridays I usually like to make something fun and easy for the kids, which they will inevitably turn their noses up at and end up eating Pop Tarts instead.  I tried to stay one step ahead today by cooking Brinner (breakfast for dinner, for you non-foodies), but with a Pinterest spin.  I ended up making these, which had about 80 calories a piece before the toppings (bacon, sausage, and chocolate chips), so really not bad, if you limit yourself to a few.

This is what mine looked like:

Ugly, right?  But so damned delicious.  I need to employ Photoshop or something I guess, because my food always looks so nasty when photographed.  Anyway, the rugrats ate them pretty well, so in my mind it was a success.  Below is the recipe I used:

3 Cups Bisquick Pancake Mix

2 Cups 2% Milk

1.5 Cups Sugar Free Syrup

Toppings (Bacon, Sausage, Chocolate Chips, Fruit, etc)

Mix the pancake mix, milk, and syrup and spoon into greased muffin tins.  Top with whatever you choose.  I cooked the bacon and browned the sausage ahead of time.  Bake mix with toppings in oven at 350 degrees for 12-14 minutes.  This makes 24 full-sized muffins, because I wanted to have enough left over for breakfast tomorrow.  

The next thing I tried was this.  Except, not really, because I love my International Delights Sugar Free Vanilla sooo much that I didn't bother with skim milk and vanilla extract.  I just blended my frozen coffee, the creamer, and a teaspoon of Splenda.  It's exactly what I drink every morning, because my morning coffee is literally a third creamer and two thirds coffee, so it tastes like a damned dessert anyway.  I just decided to freeze it tonight.  Oh, and I topped it with Sugar- Free Reddi Wip, which only has 5 calories for 2 Tablespoons.  My entire coffee dessert was less than 200 calories, so suck it Starbucks.  Here's a little tip in case you try it- freeze your coffee in little ice cubes.  I froze it in a plastic container, and it didn't freeze evenly.  Some was still liquid, and some was a chunk of ice that my blender just couldn't crush.  It is a shitty blender, though, but still.  I will try the cubes next time.

PMS Crunch

I did a movie night for my kids last night, and I made a movie themed dinner, complete with hotdogs, nachos, and a little concoction I found on Allrecipes called Movie Theater Floor. I originally posted about this on my blog about my kids, but since this one is all about me being a fatty, I think it's appropriate to discuss the foods that help keep me in this condition.

I've renamed this concoction PMS Crunch, because the sweet/salty/chocolate combo is the tits at that time of the month.  Trust me, you'll want to use my recipe instead of the Allrecipes one, because that one calls for jelly beans, and some other nut bag put in Red Hots.

PMS Crunch

Ingredients:
1 Bag of microwave popcorn (or about 3.5-4 cups of already popped)
1/2 Bag of Fritos
5-6 oz of nuts
3 Movie boxes of various candies (I used M&Ms, Reese's Pieces, and Butterfinger Bites- don't try to deviate from this awesome combo)
7 oz of candy corn ( I honestly hate this shit, but I could barely taste it, so you might as well include it.)
12 oz bag of white chocolate chips

Pop the popcorn (duh).  Make sure you get all the kernels out that didn't pop, so no one cracks a tooth.  Or, just buy the pre-popped bag of popcorn, so you don't have to worry about that.  Then mix it in a big bowl with the fritos, the nuts, the awesome candy, and the disgusting candy corn.  Melt the white chocolate very carefully, because if you don't, that shit will separate and be useless.  Put the whole package in a bowl and microwave for 30 seconds.  Take it out and stir.  Microwave again, and stir some more.  At this point, mine was melted.  I highly suggest that you stir for a while because the heat from the bowl will continue to melt it.  Once it's liquid, poor it over the popcorn/frito/candy mixture and stir, stir, stir.  You will have carpal tunnel and/or hand cramps by the time it's sufficiently mixed.  You're supposed to let it cool, but I say go ahead and have a sneak taste of it.  Oh, and it's really the Fritos that make the dish, so definitely don't forget them.


Here's what it looks like:

I know it doesn't look extra delicious, and the Food Lion popcorn I used is pretty wimpy looking, but seriously y'all, scrumptiousity!