Working Girl

Last time I posted, I mentioned a job offer.  I was happy to have it, but it wasn't the best situation, given that my commute would have been 1.5 to 2 hours each way.  Luckily something out there is working in my favor, and I was able to procure a position with none other than my college alma mater. They wanted to move quickly, so I received the offer shortly before Thanksgiving and started this past Monday. So far it's exactly what I need- a laid back environment, nice people, work that's steady but not too stressful.  The best part, and I'm serious when I say that, is the fact that since it's a University, I get 2 weeks off for Christmas. So I'll work the next couple of weeks and then be off again for the holidays, so I'm really getting to ease into this whole going back to work thing.  I am already utterly exhausted, because apparently sitting on your ass all day playing on the internet doesn't prepare you to return to the workforce like you would think.

The hubs also works for the university, so we get  have to carpool.  I dreaded that since I've spent the last few years running around like a chicken with my head cut off in the mornings, getting the kids ready for school while he leisurely awakened, ate breakfast, drank coffee, etc. before finally rolling out the door around 8:00.  Given that I need to be at work at 8, meaning we would all have to get up at 6 to get out the door by 7:15, I pictured being reprimanded by my new boss on day 2 for tardiness.  I have to admit that he has been nothing short of amazing, getting up on time, helping with the kids, and providing a source of entertainment on the drive in.  I can't say we won't kill each other in the future, but for now, all is well in the Seigler household.

Exercising My Right to Vote and My Fat Ass

I don't know if you know this, but there was an election yesterday.  It was kind of a hidden news story.  Anywho, while others were bragging about their 15 minute voting times, the hubs and I were standing in line for 4 hours due to a lack of voting machines. Also many of the ones that we did have in our district were broken. And can we talk about the fact that my state was called while I WAS STILL IN LINE?! Thank God for awesome neighbors who watched the rugrats while we were being proud Americans.

I had walked to the polling place, which happens to be my kids' school, because the parking situation was so bad, and it's only about a mile away.  I figured it would be a good opportunity to get some exercise in, not thinking about the fact that I would be on my feet the next several hours waiting. So, I'm pretty sure I burned about 82,000 calories yesterday, and I probably dropped about 20 pounds.  Luckily that bitch whore scale of mine is still out of commission, so I can continue with my delusion a while longer.

The awesome thing is that while I was in that never ending line, I got a job offer.  I've been interviewing since the kids went back to school, because that healthcare career idea went bust, and now all the kids are in school, so mom needs a life.  Also the money will be nice, so we can enjoy some luxuries like food, clothing, and shelter. I'm very excited and thankful for the opportunity.

I stood in line for 4 hours and all I got was this lousy sticker.  And a job offer.  Oh, yeah, and my guy got re-elected, despite my state being called for the other guy while I WAS STILL IN LINE. (Did I mention that already?)

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

I did it.  I did the RunDead 5k (the run where zombies chase you).  I started and finished it, and there's documentation proving so. I finished 54th out of 423. 27:29 total with a 8:52 pace, and I am obviously completely full of shit.  So how did I do it and have the results verified?  Well my new bestie and I cheated.  Her ankle was hurt, so she was struggling.  I am no runner, as you know, so when she suggested we sneak under the Caution tape that served as a poor barrier in the course, I was all for it.  Little did we know, we were hopping from the first third of the race to the home stretch.  All of a sudden, we saw the finish line, and people were clapping for us and cheering us on.  The best part is that neither of us felt guilty.  It was just for fun, and it's not like we won any awards or anything, so no harm no foul.  I would like to do it again next year for realsies, though.  I did lose all of my flags, but the hubs, Zombie-Dodger Extraordinaire, managed to keep 2 of his. He finished 352nd, if that gives you any indication of how much of a cheater I am.

Me looking sassy and smug before we headed to Charleston.

The hubs and I encountered our first zombie before the race. Sorry about your tigers, bro.

My sister from another mister and me. The best thing about this race, by far, was making a new friend.

I still want to be able to run a 5k non-stop and progress up to some longer races, so I'm starting the training process all over. I had a birthday on the 24th, and I'm determined for it to be the last one in which I'm out of shape.  My goal is to be fit when I hit my 35th birthday.  I have about a year to do this, and now that Halloween is over, and I've devoured a significant portion of my children's candy, I'm ready to get back on the wagon and achieve this goal.  As long as I don't get the flu from one of the rugrats, I'm starting running and eating as cleanly as possible tomorrow. Why tomorrow?  'Cause a girl's gotta binge.  Duh.

Color Me Rad

I did it.  And I didn't half ass it, either. I ran probably about half of it; not all at once, but total, so that counts for something. Plus, I knew the last color station was close to the finish, so I ran from that point on, which was probably a half mile.  It was definitely the furthest I've ever run at once.  That says a lot for adrenaline, because when I run on my own, I can barely run half that.

I started off jogging, but the course started uphill, so that was literally an uphill battle between me and my brain.  I ended up walking most of that part and was disheartened when I thought I was going to have to walk the entire race.  I told the hubs to go on without me, because I knew he wanted to run.  Well, then the course flattened out and started going downhill, so I decided to pick up the pace.  There were a bunch of people walking, so the only pressure I had was from myself, and as we know, she's a big ol' bitch, so she forced me to run every time the course was flat or downhill.  That's how I ended up running a good chunk of it.

I did have to stop completely once, which sucked.  Everything was going well.  I was wogging my way through, more jogging than walking at this point, and then I noticed the course was about to take a turn for the worse.  The entire thing went through areas of the college campus, so I really enjoyed that part, but as we rounded the corner, vivid flashbacks from my times as a student began flooding my brain. I knew I was about to half to conquer the hill on Bull Street which is a 90 degree   hill that you half to walk up in the snow (See picture below). It makes the cardiac hill in my neighborhood look like a walk in the park.  I got halfway up this monstrosity and noticed that everyone...EVERYONE (even the fittest of the fit) was walking oh so slowly up it.  Fatties like me had to take a mini break before we could continue, but I was happy to be in good company and not the only one who had to stop. It was less than a minute before I was on my way again, and in my defense, the last color station was right after we reached the top, so I pretty much ran from that point until the finish.

I have no idea what my time was, because the amazing organizers of the event want it to be fun, so they don't time it.  They also donate a portion to a local charity and chose Happy Wheels, which I thought was an awesome choice.  They're talking about doing an annual event, so if they do, I'm taking the kids next year.  I think they would have a blast.

The hill I had to climb.  Fine, not really, but you get the idea.

 Here's what we looked like at the end:

If you look really close, you can see a turquoise ring around Wesley's eye.  Apparently you need lab safety goggles to do this thing.

 

My sister came up this weekend, too, since I'm going to be an old lady in a few days, and I think she wanted to rub it in.  She did bring some awesome gifts, though, and watched the rugrats so Wesley and I could do the race. 

Awesome gifts.  Yes, that is a Bill Murray coloring book.

She also took me to lunch, and since it was one of my b-day weekends (you get 2 when it falls in the middle of the week), I gorged myself silly.  I have been so good lately, so my body isn't used to that shit anymore.  I spent a majority of the weekend gassy, bloated, nauseous, and in pain.  It was not pleasant, and I realized I really do not miss junk food at all.  I did test my little theory this morning with leftover pizza and am now paying the price AGAIN.  So, I'm done.  I'm not advocating any kind of restrictive diet, because I think it's too hard to stick to something like that, and you end up binging yourself silly, but I have learned that my body definitely works better on a lower carb, less processed food diet.  I think it's true for everyone, although I think I'm more affected by carbs than most people.  Even whole grain pasta, rice, and bread make me feel tired and sluggish, so they're off the menu for now.  I do tolerate potatoes, though (thank Jebus!), so they're staying in.

Because I have too much time on my hands, I created this tribute video to foods that I once loved but now am cutting completely from my diet.  I ate most of them this weekend, and they were not nice to me.  So good riddance old pals.

The 5K Races, Yeah About Those...

I'm very close to faking a knee injury, because I haven't done jack diddly shit in the past couple of weeks.  Well, until yesterday.  The kids and I did a charity walk in Charlotte, and there were 3 different distance options, but I have no idea which route we took.  We were with other folks, and I let them lead the way.  In my mind, it was a 5k, because then I don't feel so inadequate.

This morning, I was all motivated and what not, so I went for a wog.  I had the longest running distance ever (all down hill mind you, but still).  The problem was when I switched back to walking, I never could get my running groove back.  I think I'm going to try somewhere flatter tomorrow to see what I can really do, because I am beyond stressed about the next 2 5ks.  They're supposed to be fun, which is why I signed up for them, but coming in dead last isn't my idea of a good time.  The Color Me Rad is Saturday, so I'm using it as a warm up to the RunDead, since people will be chasing me in that one.  Luckily the hubs will be with me at both, although he has informed me that he will be leaving me in the dust at the zombie run, so my plans to trip him will have to be altered.

***I was in the middle of typing this when my neighbor knocked on my door.  We had plans to run together this morning, but I apparently got the time mixed up.  I went at 9:30 and did 2 miles, so when she rang the doorbell at 10:30, I went pale.  But I sucked it up and went with her and her husband's cousin, who is about 11 feet tall with a 24 inch waist.  When I was about to die and had to walk while they continued jogging, he spouted off helpful tips like, "Don't stop. You just need to get control of your breathing. At least do a brisk walk, so you can keep your heart rate up." He obviously has no idea that fat people can do a lot less work to keep their heart rates up, since our hearts are struggling enough to begin with.  I would have punched him, but he was moving too fast, and I was dying.    Regardless, I did jog a bit with them and added another mile to my total, making it a full 5k for me today, albeit not all at once. It's progress people.

Pinadequate Halloween Village

So, this one was actually a success, if I do say so myself.  I found this little project on Pinterest.  It was cheap and easy, so even a craft failure like me could handle it. 

Their village

And Mine

Did you know the Dollar Tree sells Christmas Villages? Well, they do, and you should buy one ASAP, because it's enough to do 2 different projects.  

See what I mean?  That's a lot of pieces.

I split it in half and chose the pieces I thought would look the creepiest painted black.  I'm saving the other half for Christmas.

I used some kind of black car spray paint that I got from Ollie's, but I'm sure you can use any kind.

The link above is right about the figurine faces.  They're dollar store quality, which means they're super scary looking already, so I covered them with my kids' Play Doh (shhh!), and spray painted around the faces.

First coat of paint. Nice and shiny.

Got the brilliant idea to cover that with Glow in the Dark spray paint, which dulled the finish and honestly didn't add the cool effect I was hoping for.  I would probably skip this part in the future.

Since I didn't have glitter paint, I again raided my kids' stuff and found their glitter glue.  The link says to highlight with the glitter paint, but why would you only highlight with sparkles, when you can make the whole thing shine? I had a bunch of different colors, and I think they turned out pretty.

Check out the spooky faces on the figures. 

Here's the full mantle, 90% supplied by the Dollar Tree.  The village is on the left, and the tombstones I also got from there are on the right.

Here's the village lit up, but it was still daylight, so it doesn't look very cool.  I also determined I need more lights, because even at night, you can't see very much.  

I was playing around in my closet with one of the black lights and 2 of the houses, and after seeing awesome glowing purple sparkles, I have determined that I need a string of black lights for the mantle.

So, overall a Winterest for me.  The fail came in when I decided to spray paint inside the house.  I used a plastic table cloth and was super careful not to get paint anywhere on the carpet, walls, etc. Where I was stupid was when I elected not to open windows or doors, so the fumes were apparently overwhelming when the fam came home.  I got a nice lecture from the spouse regarding toxic fumes blah blah blah.  He is an authority on the subject, as I was reminded, since he is an Environmental Health Manager for a University.

Ok, stupid, but here's why I spray painted inside. Have you guys seen The Vampire Diaries?  I know I'm late to the party on this one, but I am a Buffy loyalist, and I felt that this was probably a high school bullshit vampire drama that could only pale in comparison, but after I finished watching the whole Buffy series on Netflix (again!), I needed something else to watch. On my sister's recommendation, I gave it a shot, and now I'm hooked.  Anywho, I thought I could do my artsy fartsy stuff while getting my Damon on, which was apparently not the best decision.  I did finish the first season, though, so a productive day all in all.

Spoke Too Soon

You know how you don't hear from a heroin addict for a week, and it turns out he's holed up in some crack house, OD'ing and seeing dead babies on the ceiling?  Well that's where I was for the past week- drunk on Diet Dr. Pepper and high on carbs.  So I guess I lied last week when I said I was getting back on it then.  I'm really doing it....starting now.

I did wog today, but I didn't do the couch to 5K workout.  That program is terrific for people who are in better shape than I am, but it progressed too quickly for me.  Instead, today, I walked to the front of the neighborhood, which was mostly uphill, so when I got to the end, I turned around and jogged downhill as far as I could.  I continued in a similar pattern, jogging whenever I could downhill.  I realized that the fact that I knew I wouldn't be able to complete the entire workout for the 3rd week of C25K was enough to deter me from even trying it. It's counterintuitive, I realize, since you can never do something if you don't try, so I just adjusted my routine to accommodate my current fitness level.  I also started using the RunKeeper  app because I have app ADD. I'm like a boy with video games.  I need constant change to stay motivated and stimulated.

I don't even know what my whore scale has to say about my indiscretions.  I'll deal with her on Friday.